From Manal Wazeer

I remember you

Long before we took our first steps on earth, you worried about us.
Long before we spoke our first words, you spoke about us.
Growing up, you were like a passing acquaintance.
Now my brain and heart, know where to find solace.
Oh Prophet, I remember you now.

I remember you when I first experienced loss.
Strapping my foster daughter in a car that doesn’t belong to us.
I remember you when Zaid’s father came to claim him back.
Your attachment of him, pulled at your heart strings.
Yet you were just and asked Zaid to make his choice.
When you lost child after child and only Fatima remained.
Covering them with a blanket of earth, you endured.

I remember you when words felt like arrows.
When I wore my hijab and get exposed to passing insults.
I remember you in Taif, when it was words and rocks.
They strove to crush you, yet you chose the higher ground.
Like balm to sore muscles, your memory soothes and covers the pain.
Your resilience and forbearance remind me to keep my hijab on.

I remember you when failure feels like a constant companion.
When years of striving to secure a job results in a tree bearing no fruits.
I remember you in Makkah.
13 years of effort and only a handful of followers, yet you persisted.

It taught me success isn’t numbers but the quality of those numbers.
The hijra to Medina reminds me that there are other options out there.

Oh prophet,
Your story still leads even though you are no longer around.
I am glad I remember you when I navigate this life.
Getting to know you sent me on another journey.
Getting to know and love Allah.
You were the catalyst.

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