From Fatma Ibrahim

Dear Messenger of Allah جل جلاله ,Prophet Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم,
My beloved, I am truly sorry. I am sorry that I don’t remember you as much as I should. Being so distracted, so carried away with my affairs in this worldly life. I hate to give excuses, but unfortunately this is my sad truth.
I made a promise with myself that in every sajdah I go down in during Salah, I send peace and blessing upon your beloved name after remembering Allah جل جلاله , before making any duas. I also pray to Allah جل جلاله that He fills my heart with love for you and reminds me of you as much as I can, so that I may send peace and blessings upon your beloved name.
Every time I made this dua and remember how much my day would have gone by without remembering you, my heart would ache with sore and guilt; that it would be unbearable during some days..
I try my best to learn more about your Sunnah and implement it to my life. By the will of Allah جل جلاله ,I slowly started to make it a habit, as it began to remember you more than before. However, still it wasn’t enough. I would always feel like I’m not doing enough or making enough effort in remembering you, my beloved.
My tears for how much I miss you and guilt of not remembering you enough is only a drop in an endless ocean of your tears that you cried for me and your ummah every night.
I pray that Allah جل جلاله never lets a day in my life go by without sincerely remembering you and sending genuine peace blessings upon your beloved name. I pray that one day I get to see your beloved face that is brighter and more adorned than the moon, smiling at me in my dreams. I pray that I leave the privileged life I have here living in Canada and get to live in Medina where I can visit your mosque Masjid Al Nabbawi whenever I want.
I pray that I am among those that obtain your intercession by the will of Allah جل جلاله on the Day of Resurrection. And I pray that I gain your companionship in Jannat Al Firdous in the Hereafter. Ameen.
People (including my nafs and shaytan) would say that those goals are too
unrealistic, impossible to achieve since your imaan isn’t and will never be above the skies. I know that I’m just a simple girl and that my imaan is always fluctuating, but my Rabb is The Greatest, The Almighty, The Most Merciful. To Him I put all my hope and trust that no doubt at all I will achieve those goals by the will of Allah جل جلاله . As long as I keep striving for them through the means of attaining Allah جل جلاله love and pleasure. I am willing to do all it takes to get to you, my beloved.
with love,
Fatma Ibrahim.

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