From Nadia Bte Abdul Samad

My Dear Beloved,

Salaamun ‘alaik. A year ago, I lost my mother. I felt pain, that I have never felt before. I cried, I still do. Each passing day seemed bleak but you know what gave me strength?

You, my dear Prophet. You never got to see your father, your mother died when you were still young, your grandfather passed away when you were a child. That many losses, yet you remained patient, and that astounds me. It still does. You had to bury your son when he was still a toddler, and he wasn’t the only child who departed before you. I absolutely cannot imagine the pain you went through as a parent.

And when times were tough, very tough indeed, you were tested with two of your strongest pillars taken away. Your uncle, who helped to protect you, and your beloved wife, who weathered the storms with you. That pain, that loss, I can never understand. But my beloved, you remained patient and it was from your strength I drew mine. You are truly, only one of a kind.

When it’s my turn to go, will you be by my side when I leave this temporal world? I’m afraid, I’m very afraid, of what my deeds will account me to. Here I am, undeserving yet completely in need of your love, your guidance, your intercession. Will you help me, O Rasulullah? Will I get to drink from your blessed well? Will I have the pleasure of being allowed in your companionship in Paradise? Will I get to taste the real, sweet joy of true success, of being gathered with you O Rasulullah, in the Eternal life?

But… While I’m still alive, my dear Prophet, will I ever get to see your beautiful face? I don’t deserve that honour, none of me does. Yet, I still secretly wish for it. Even if it was in my dreams. Will I, O Rasulullah?

Hoping to see you,

N.

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