Wa Muhammada, Ya RasulAllah Sallahu Alihi Wasalm, Dearest Beloved,
It’s so difficult to get lost in this world of illusion feeling bewildered and down trodden. My struggles for the past few years have been to allow myself and others around me to just be. Whenever I interact with “religious folk,” it’s as if my mind and heart are racing to find you.Almost every single time, I am left heartbroken. I am realizing that you are, by God, nothing like
any other creation. What people exhibit are mere rays from the sun of your being.
You are the gentleness of the wind in the summer breeze, you are the smell of fresh roses in the spring garden. You are the warmth of a mother’s embrace and you are the love within the lover’s eyes. You are the softness of a newborn’s cheeks, and you are the radiant colors of the peacock. You are the shade under a giant oak tree, and you are the green within the leaves. You are the coolness of water, and you are the ease after every hardship. No one can truly be like you and having such high hopes from other people is clearly a way to set myself up for failure. In this life, I enjoy glimpses of you and I pray for constant companionship in all time space realities
You are the sound of the salawat that leaves the lips of those who wish to hear your voice and you are the vision of the eye that sheds tears for you. You stood in prayer crying for each and every single one of us; you know us by name. You showered us with unconditional love and prayers before we knew you. You are the distributor of every blessing and I hope to be amongst those who are standing before your door. You never turn anyone away, O distributor of great blessings, please look my way. O intercessor, intercede for us. Please remove the constriction and distress that I feel in my chest. Your companionship with Sayidna Umar made Satan go the opposite way, please hold our hands too, for the path is a long and sometimes difficult way.
Please be my reason to get off the floor when I’m submerged in tears, not willing to stand up tall
and face my fears.
May my imperfections point me to your love, kindness, and mercy. Take me with you and don’t leave me to myself. Promise me that you’ll always be near, dearly beloved. You are the single antidote to all the poisons that have spread within me.
With love, your