From Maisarah

BismiLlah ar-Rahman ar-Rahim,

Dear Prophet Muhammad, may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon you eternally.

I have been a Muslim my whole life. Alhamdulillah. Believing in God and you as His Prophet is at the essence of our faith.

And yet. I never knew you. You were not a part of my life. I uttered words of belief, but they were hollow. I did not love you.

In one of the halaqas, a question was posed. “What was the turning point in your relationship with the Prophet (saws)?”

I did not have an answer. Did I have a relationship with you? I was not sure.

There was an aching. A longing to understand. What would that look like, to have a relationship with you, the best of creation? I yearned to know.

And in Rabiulawwal of this year, God sent me people. People who love you. Attending mawlids from across the globe, the love in their hearts reached mine.

As I stood in front of my computer screen, singing and praying and crying, I realised.

This was my turning point. This was the beginning of my relationship with you. Never before had I experienced such joy.

O the joy! How can after knowing you, can we feel anything but joy? You are the light. You are the sun. Radiating it’s rays of warmness into our cold and needy hearts.

And in addition to the mawlids, I experienced salawat. One of my teachers prescribed a certain amount to be read during the month of Rabiulawwal. It seemed impossible to me, and I almost dismissed the idea entirely. But out of love and respect to her, I tried.

It was actually painful in the beginning. It didn’t come easily. But with every salawat I recited, it was as if I could feel a layer of rust being peeled off this hardened heart of mine. I persevered. And after some time, I felt it. Peace.

O the peace! Such peace, that gave me such conviction. Whatever trials this world may bring, there is solace in remembering God and remembering you!

I am only beginning to get to know you. But now I know that I love you. And I know that your love for me is infinitely more than I could ever imagine.

I cannot imagine my life before knowing you. Before loving you. How did I get up each morning? How did I feel any happiness?

Every day I thank God for you. The bringer of joy and peace, to our hearts much in need.

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