Ya Rasul Allah!
Forgive my arrogance! My ignorance!
Forgive me for staying behind
Hiding in my comfort-zone
For being such a coward.
Out of shame of myself
I try to keep out of your gaze
To disappear in the crowd
Knowing your honest, caring gaze
Will require of me a deeper sincerity
To stop excuse myself
To step out of myself
To step up and become a better version of myself
Full of self-doubt
I hold myself back
I held myself back
Ya Rasul Allah forgive me! For my hiding! For not meeting your kind and caring gaze! For not meeting up to carry on your noble heritage, hiding behind bad excuses. But if I am not worthy of being called one of your followers, why do I even call myself a muslim?! Ya Rasul Allah forgive me! Ya Allah forgive me…
I ask Allah, The Most Merciful, Who know all my flaws, and Who keep pouring His Rahma over me, and His creation nevertheless, I ask Him to give me the courage to meet your gaze from now
To search for it
To hang on to it
To honour you properly
And to carry your noble heritage with grace and sincerity!
May you forgive me
May you look at me with kindness as I stumble ahead
To become of your sincere followers, with the mercy and help of Allah, the Most Generous.