Ya Rasul Allah!

Forgive me!

Forgive my arrogance! My ignorance!

Forgive me for staying behind

Hiding in my comfort-zone

For being such a coward.

Out of shame of myself

I try to keep out of your gaze

To disappear in the crowd

Knowing your honest, caring gaze

Will require of me a deeper sincerity

And commitment

To stop excuse myself

To step out of myself

To step up and become a better version of myself

Full of self-doubt

I hold myself back

I held myself back

Ya Rasul Allah forgive me! For my hiding! For not meeting your kind and caring gaze! For not meeting up to carry on your noble heritage, hiding behind bad excuses. But if I am not worthy of being called one of your followers, why do I even call myself a muslim?! Ya Rasul Allah forgive me! Ya Allah forgive me…

I ask Allah, The Most Merciful, Who know all my flaws, and Who keep pouring His Rahma over me, and His creation nevertheless, I ask Him to give me the courage to meet your gaze from now

To search for it

To hang on to it

To honour you properly

And to carry your noble heritage with grace and sincerity!  

May you forgive me

May you look at me with kindness as I stumble ahead

To become of your sincere followers, with the mercy and help of Allah, the Most Generous.